Why can’t we communicate anymore?

Logan Dailey
Posted 9/16/20

What has changed in America that we cannot come together and have a conversation?

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Why can’t we communicate anymore?

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What has changed in America that we cannot come together and have a conversation? I noticed something while listening to several interviews on the television and radio; people cannot have a conversation anymore; they interrupt each other and do not listen to what the other person is saying. Why not hear someone out? Even if you disagree with everything a person is saying, you can still learn something.

When a person interrupts another, they stop the conversation. All flow of information is immediately ceased. Participants must actively listen to one another before responding. Thinking back to my conflict resolution and mediation communication classes from college, I remember my professor discussing the application of active listening. Active listening is defined by the United States Institute of Peace as “a way of listening and responding to another person that improves mutual understanding.” 

The Center for Creative Leadership lists their Big 6 Active Listening Skills as paying attention, withholding judgment, reflecting, clarifying, summarizing and sharing. The application of these skills allows for a better mutual understanding of a discussion and proves to the other person you understand, not necessarily agree, but understand what is being said. This is critical. 

Another important aspect to consider is empathy. Put yourself in someone else’s shoes. There are times when a person simply wants you to feel what they feel. Take a moment and try to imagine the circumstances that person is facing. There are a lot of people out there, myself included, who are ‘fixers.’ We want to take whatever problem you have and fix it, when we should be listening to your account of what has occurred and recognizing how it made you feel, then responding.

Take a political debate, for example. One side will tell the audience where they stand on an issue. The opposing politician is then given a chance to respond. This allows for the individuals to state their positions and express the differences. The communication flows smoothly and both are getting their message out.

Now, when one of the politicians is talking and the other politician continually interrupts the other, no message is received by anyone. It proves nothing and incites an immediate breakdown in communication. One or both politicians are put on the defensive, and anger and confusion takes reign of the dialogue. 

If a person is put on the defensive, they will naturally refuse to allow the conversation to continue. The person who was interrupted will likely cross their arms in front of them, turn away and discontinue listening to anything the other is saying.

If we are to move forward as a society, we must re-learn how to communicate with one another. Listen, then speak. There is nothing wrong with disagreeing or having a differing opinion; this is what being an American is all about. As Americans, we have the freedom to express ourselves and believe what we want, so long as it does not infringe upon the rights of others. 

Let us work together to communicate better; listen actively, clarify, respond appropriately and have a good conversation. 

Tony Robbins, an American author and philanthropist, said it best when he said, “the way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives.”